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Experiencing a sexual assault is a life-altering event.

On January 9, this year, I was the victim of Sexual assault level 1 (s. 271): assault committed in circumstances of a sexual nature such that the sexual integrity of the victim is violated. Level 1 involves minor physical injuries or no injuries to the victim. It happened on the North Shore. He is in the medical field of practice.

The road to healing is deeply personal, winding, and different for everyone. I’m writing to share my journey in hopes that I can inspire others to advocate for themselves if it has happened to you or does happen. While I won’t go into the details of the assault itself, I hope that by sharing my process, I can empower others to take the steps they need to reclaim their voices and lives.

The Importance of Self-Advocacy

After my assault, I felt overwhelmed and confused – how did this happen to me? I called the clinic where it happened, reported it to the owner, reported it to the RCMP, and reported it to his professional College. Self-advocacy wasn’t something I was consciously doing at the time. I just knew what happened was awful and wrong and that he needed to be stopped. For me, it meant acknowledging my pain, seeking support, and learning to speak up for my needs, even when it felt uncomfortable.

I learned that advocating for yourself doesn’t mean always having all the answers (God, no) or being consistently strong. It’s about believing in your worth and taking steps to protect yourself and others, no matter how small those steps might seem.

My Process of Self-Advocacy

One of the first and most important steps I took was not being OK with the minimum. The RCMP constable to whom I gave my statement was emotionless. Maybe that makes sense in their line of work, but wow, I felt like I was talking to a robot. He gave me a card with my file number on it and causally stated that there was a helpline on the back. My mind was swirling, and I just needed some guidance. When he called to say that they had arrested him on one count of sexual assault, he was a matter of fact. When he called a few weeks later with other information, he was condescending. I didn’t like that. I called his supervisor, who suggested I call the Crime Victim Assistance Program. I said I don’t want to call anyone. Please ask them to call me.

This was the lifeline I needed. CVAP set me up with counselling sessions. I selected a therapist and started my journey. Finding a therapist who specialized in trauma was a turning point. It gave me a safe space to process my emotions and tools to navigate the overwhelming feelings that followed the assault (and still do).

Opening up to trusted friends and family was another critical step. I carefully chose people I knew would listen without judgment and support me unconditionally. Sharing my story, even in fragments, helped me feel less alone. Their encouragement reminded me that what happened was wrong and that I needed to speak up and speak out.

Outcomes:

The Crown did not proceed with the case as ‘there was no physical evidence’ – she said / he said.

The CVAP (Crime Victim Assistance Program in B.C.) awarded me the maximum number of therapy sessions they can grant.

The College determined that there was no physical evidence; hence, there was no need for a further inquiry. He admitted to the bare minimum of what happened and will have a ‘sensitivity’ meeting on patient/practitioner guidelines. This event is now on his file, and if anyone comes forward with a complaint, more decisive disciplinary actions will be easier to impart. He continues to practice.

A Message of Encouragement

To anyone who has experienced sexual assault, you are not alone. Advocating for yourself is not about being perfect or fearless. You have to do a lot of the work on your own without knowing what the outcomes will be. It has been almost a year to the date to reach these outcomes. There have been days of hopelessness, like a constant pit in my stomach and a weight on my heart. There have been times when all I was able to do was get my daughter to school and then come home, cry, shake, and try to breathe. My family and friends have been incredibly supportive, but unless you have experienced something, you can’t actually know, how can you? I get that. I am a fantastic actor skilled at putting on a brave face in light of all that has happened over the past few years. It’s about taking small steps—seeking support, believing in the universe, and finding your voice. Healing is a process, and taking it at your own pace is OK. You deserve to be heard, heal, and say what happened. You are worthy, and your voice matters.

Thank you to those who have shown me extra kindness this year. I am not bitter. I still go towards love. Despite everything, I try to see the silver lining daily and hope that 2025 is a peaceful year.

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